Really not sure what to make of today: I bought a mattress topper for our bed and it’s transformed our bed back into something we can sleep on, rather than a treacherous no mans land looking for revenge for all the use its had. I slept in late this morning as a result, but as I wasn’t due to work until the early afternoon, that really wasn’t as bad as it sounds.
Unfortunately though, my mood has been deflated all day, despite the various efforts of Ladies M and P at various points in the day. Perhaps the truly awful stench of a customer who soiled his pants and carried on using our public computer terminals for over six hours was part of it; or maybe the ongoing uncertainties of proposed restructures at the library helped. A little of both maybe, prompting my brain to tick over into that headspace that replays every bad or unfortunate decision with hypercritical venom as my own personal chorus of disapproval.
I have at least managed to make others laugh. It seems a good deflection and compensation tactic to try and lift others to make up for my own lows. In response to being called ‘a sweetie’ by Lady P, I replied: “brightly coloured packaging and bad for your health?”, and when asked by Lady M why I’d done something so stupid as to marry her, my comeback was: ” well it’s part of this history I have doing things that seemed a bright idea at the time only to see them turn into bloody awesome decisions!”
I’m not doing great, but I’ll never give up, even with the black dog chewing my ankle a while.