So, we’re finally back in action with the Monday night group after a couple of week’s hiatus. I’ve just written up Monday’s mayhem, so that can be found in the usual place, or you can follow the link directly.
This week is not giving up without a fight, it has to be said, but at least it’s from a positive place. I had counselling today and it’s stirred up an awful lot of painful memories so I’m a bit raw today. Fortunately I have a good support network of people who care for me and so I’m already starting to feel brighter, ready to kick Thursday to the curb if it starts copping an attitude.
The positive elements of this are that the upset has come in a therapeutic context rather than in random memories and mood swings, and that it actually means I’m healthy enough to start to process and come to terms with how the depression really started to come in and colour everything way back when. It’s painful, but I’m better equipped to make sense of things now than I necessarily was at the time.
All the same, I’ll not be upset when I’ve had enough of today. At least there’s not the sense of futility that can come with mood swings out of nowhere. I know why I’m feeling bad, so I can deal with it better. So that’s positive.