It’s my second night of having no one in my bed with me. Lady S is at home on the coast, and Lady M is up in town at the Women in Tech conference at the ExCel. She’s apparently a little bemused to be there without being surrounded by cosplayers.
There’s always mildly mixed emotions at times like this. On the one hand there’s the calming reassurance of snuggling up with one or more partners , drifting off while joking about the day or being soppy. On the other hand I have the whole bed to myself and have spent two evenings playing games, watching trashy films, reading and doodling in my own little world.
Being able to enjoy time on my own without my loved ones is healthy and important. I’m comfortable with silence. It gives me time to emotionally recharge for when I see them again.
I did consider going out to the pub, like we regularly used to for #Tuesday, but I honestly didn’t have the mental reserves to deal with noise, heat, and people – and so I opted for self care.
This is huge, not something I necessarily would have allowed myself a few years back. I miss my partners, but I’m enjoying the physical and emotional space too.