There’s a whimsical note to this as it isn’t as grim as it might sound. On my phone I have set a target of a certain number of steps and minutes of activity, all of which is measured by the accelerometer and interpreted by my health app.

Activity can count as running, brisk walking, or anything other than a gentle amble, and so I can aim at some degree of cardio exercise even if I’m just shifting stock or floor walking with customers at work.

My phone of course likes to congratulate me on achieving these targets, and so little notifications appear on my phone when I meet or exceed them, followed by a roundup nearer the end of the evening.

As the font is a little on the small and cluttered side, I therefore keep misreading Congratulations on being Active, as a sarcastic and/or passive-aggressive snipe about still being alive.

I’m reasonably sure my phone isn’t actually trying to kill me.