celebrations

Resuming Normal Service

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What a long and wonderful weekend, despite the worries and anxieties – and that was just the cub. We had a grand get-together to celebrate my parents’ birthdays. Food and drink were plentiful, hotels were comfortable, and the train strike was cancelled in time for the Charleesi to make an appearance too.

Various chat channels are now filled with a variety of candid and staged photographs, and the roads back yesterday were considerably better than they were on Friday evening. This meant there was actually some daylight when we got home – though tiredness meant that not a lot of it was seen or made use of. I took today off to recover anyway, just like the last time we wandered up there, and I’m glad I did. Next week is in theory shorter, given that Easter is happening, but I’m working the Saturday and will no doubt have a lot to fit in.

That’s not a doom and gloom prediction, just a knowledge of how much is going on – and appreciating I also have a number of catch-up meetings booked with my staff.

The author on the right, and the boy on the left - both cropped hair and in suits. The author is grinning, the boy is pulling a face

The boy and I even looked an approximation of human – it was his first time wearing a suit and going to an event and for all the face-pulling he enjoyed it.

Today has been quiet therefore – with grocery shopping, games on the xbox, map making, reading, and general chatting with people on the agenda. Here’s to a reasonable and productive week to come

Day on the Road

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We’ve headed out for a celebration today – and that meant an afternoon on the road among roadworks and the usual Friday afternoon traffic shenanigans. We would have been off sooner, but the cub decided that he would rather play in the local park with his friends than come straight home and jump in a car. I can’t say I entirely blame him – he’s very nervous about meeting a lot of people in my family for the first time.

Still, we kept busy with the perennial favourite of ‘I Spy’ – with no more than the usual assortment of swear words, and with a game where we made up words from the letters in the registration of vehicles ahead of us. The latter game got quite tricky as we got into a traffic jam and the seemingly impossible task for people of knowing how to merge lanes.

All is well and good though – we’ve travelled and arrived, and are settled in our rooms. Tomorrow will bring jollity and probably some last-minute shopping as the cub has had a growth spurt.

And just as an end of day wind down, here’s a set of tokens and portrait for a charging minotaur done in Heroforge (of course):

facial token of an angry minotaur with a studded collar and large horns
portrait of a virtual charging minotaur holding an axe in one hand against a cave background
top-down token of a charging minotaur holding an axe

Hot Water Bottle Time

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I’ve been staying over at boy s’ place the last couple of days to have some quiet time in celebration of five years of his being collared. WIth our collective health and it being a bit of a sparse time of month we didn’t do anything spectacular but instead enjoyed quiet time. We tidied the flat, watched YouTube videos, grabbed food, and had an early night.

I couldn’t let the event pass without some kind of gift or sign though. One of the things I’ve introduced the boy to is Dungeons and Dragons – and with that has come the dice goblin urge to gather as many shiny maths rocks as possible. He’s been keeping them in a box, but I know he’s been looking for a big partitioned dice bag to hold them in – so it was an easy choice to grab something that then gave plenty of room for expansion:

And so with all the hyper focus I love watching, he spent time grabbing sets out and dropping them in matching patterns or colour combinations to fill each of the sections of the bag. It is of course nowhere near being full, so he has now announced that he needs more – which will make birthday and christmas gifting much easier..!

The boy also struggles with feelings of worth sometimes – linked to various issues around the impact of mental health and other factors on how well he can engage – especially as part of our relationship. I felt that I really had no choice but to give him something to remind him when he’s feeling low, of how worthy he remains. So I got him a LARPing Mjolnir hammer that he can pick up to remind himself that he is of course worthy of love and care and attention.

That made him laugh.

Quiet Anniversary

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Eleven years ago, Lady M and I invited a bunch of people to join us at a castle for a party with a bit of paperwork attached. Memories of our wedding still put smiles on faces – and especially ours – all these years later.

We deliberately didn’t make any plans for today – but there were possibilities of book shops, coffee, maybe some wandering in fields or woods. Sadly, Lady M has had a horrible migraine today – and on top of that we ate some very rich food last night that very much disagreed with us both this morning.

So its been a quiet day. I’ve been reading some of the books I got for my birthday, as well as done some writing and sketching. I dropped the cub back round to boy s when he came round after school, and now I’m watching some videos on YouTube while waiting for our regular Friday Destiny Twitch stream.

We’ll do something to mark it properly at some point, I’m sure, but for now its just nice to sit and reminisce on the passage of years and how blessed we are where we are now.

The Power of Our Stories

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I was privileged to be involved this week inan event, speaking and introducing other speakers at the Surrey History Centre for their LGBT History Month event called The Power of Our Stories. I was there in my role as co-Chair of the Surrey County Council LGBTQ+ Staff Network and spoke on the power and nature of queer joy to a sold out audience.

We heard from colleagues about the work of the staff network, of Surrey’s provision of support to young LGBT people, and the work of the History Centre in documenting and archiving LGBT stories in Surrey. We heard from a student in film and lens media studies talk about their work and mission to reclaim and desexualise the depiction of trans bodies through challenging expectations. We were also honoured to hear from Bernard Reed OBE, founder of GIRES, speaking of the heartbreaking events that led to their campaign to improve the lives of trans and non-binary individuals throughout the UK. To round it all off, we then had the most beautiful accapella arrangement of Somewhere Over The Rainbow provided by the Surrey Rainbow Choir.

We had stalls from a number of services and charities in Surrey, ranging from the local library and the adoption service, to the police, Catalyst, HER, and Haven. There was talk, laughter, song, and connection among a wonderful array of people – and I was absolutely buzzing from the positivity and happiness that buoyed the whole event.

I’ve been utterly exhausted as a consequence the last day or so, but so worth it and can’t wait to work with my colleagues to make it all happen again. My original copy of my speech was rapidly grabbed by Di to add to the archive but I’ll grab the text when I’m next back in work. Recordings were also made, so as those become available I’ll link to them too.

Merry Christmas!

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I hope your day has been peaceful, your people kind, your sustenance plentiful, and that you are now sinking into a celebratory relaxation

Lady M and I have spent the day with boy s and Lady W and the cub, and caught up with my parents and brothers by way of a Google Meet so we’ve been blessed with laughter, silliness, and no particular urgency along the way.

Plans have been laid to visit my parents some time in the next couple of months, and I need to track the Charleesi down to pass presents to her as well.

Lady M and I have a quiet day planned tomorrow, with a few gifts between us as we mostly focused on giving things to other people and opened things from the rest of the family.

I do have one piece of loot from Lady M that I’ve opened today:

She’s had this hidden away for the best part of a year following a Kickstarter and I love it. The open framed dice have a rough iron feel that along with the skulls suggests a dice set suitable for a villain in one of my games. The case itself has a good heft and solidity too that has a good tactile feel.

I shall now have to find a suitable way to display it

Christmas Eve

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And suddenly we’re nearly there – ready to feast and spend time with people. Bonus points are awarded if they’re people we love and cherish too. Today has been spent in the traditional activities of visiting people to drop off presents and have a natter – in this case Lady B – and gathering up people for transport so they’re in the right place for celebrations in the morning.

As is also traditional, there’s a few gifts that also need properly wrapping up ready for handover to the Claus, and so that’s why I am currently “banished” to the living room to play on the XBox and blog while Lady M is busy in the other room with Christmas movies and wrapping paper.

I’m looking forward to not running around too much tomorrow as my ribs are hurting quite a bit after all the bustle. I currently have a hot water bottle against my back to ease that side, and am sitting carefully upright and shallow breathing to manage the front. I will no doubt get jumped on by a child tomorrow, so I must remember to take extra painkillers with me when we go round to the boy s – which is where we’re cooking and spending most of tomorrow.

So, I hope you all have a wonderful day that goes to plan, fills you with joy, and brings you some peace amid the bustle and celebration.

Laser Tag Party

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We had the excuse of a celebration and a special request from the cub – and that’s how we ended up driving round the M25 to out the back of Caterham to play some laser tag in the woods. The original plan would have had us just watching while kids battled it out, but with some last-minute cancellations we had enough slots for myself and Lady M to join in while boy s watched from the side-lines and huddled under all our coats.

The mechanics were fairly simple – a sensor on the gun and three types of gun: a sniper, an assault rifle, and a submachine gun – each with differing rates of fire, range, reload times, and damage done against a notional value of hit points. Two teams of roughly a dozen on each side, and referees keeping an eye on it all. We had one hundred hit points per life, and five lives in a non-contact game where minimum distance to the other team was five metres.

And you know what – I really enjoyed it. We all did. I favoured a sniper so I didn’t have to run around too much and could put years of pinpoint FPS gaming to good use. The games were quick with some variants and two different arenas – and footing by and large was good despite snow and frozen mud. One small disclaimer, I did manage to lose my footing and do a very impressive tumble where I broke my fall by landing with the point of my elbow in my rib. It’s a bit sore, but some painkillers and the occasional wince of discomfort are seeing me through.

I hadn’t heard of GO Laser Tag before – and not having to wear a load of sensors was a big bonus – staff were friendly, kept good control of the sessions, and all seemed to be focused on making sure everyone had a good time. Their website is https://www.golasertaglondon.co.uk/ and for something a bit different that caters to a wide age range its a good option. We all enjoyed ourselves and have been making noises about not being averse to doing it again. Let’s face it, for the British that’s a glowing endorsement.

It also gave me a good excuse to give the new car a bit of a stretch on the motorway rather than just the local trips I’ve been doing for work and while I’m not a petrol-head, it was a smooth transition and satisfying to get some different driving under the belt. The new car is a plug-in hybrid so while it runs quite happily ramping up battery power from the flywheel to augment general driving, it can also operate as a purely electric car. As soon as the charge card is all sorted out, I’m looking forward to using it on the local commute.

Surrey Stars

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I was invited along last night to something that Surrey County Council hasn’t really tried before – an awards ceremony for outstanding individuals and teams. Various nominations, including some I put forward for my team, were whittled down to a select few, and my invitation lay unnoticed until my co-chairs in the staff LGBT+ network started commenting about how the date clashed with various family plans and asked if I was going. One hasty brushing off of the spam filter later I’d got the paperwork sorted.

Hosted at Sandown Races, the traffic was… heavy as only rush hour can be in that neck of the woods, but I was there on time and headed for the very sparkly-dressed people standing at the main entrance to gain entry. I’ve not been to anything like this before, so the nerves were firmly squashed, and I stepped forward all suited and booted.

It was a good evening – partly to meet people I’ve only ever met on Teams and Zoom, and partly to make new connections with my staff network chair hat on. There was live jazz and reasonable food and drink for a corporate bash, but the people there were definitely the draw. I think setting it right at the beginning of the Christmas period was a good move as it gave people an excuse to break out the glad rags and let their hair down a little bit. The mood was light, the networking was non-stop, and I was somehow surprised still to find how many people either already knew me by sight or reputation – or who wanted to talk in my network capacity.

There were some amazing stories that came out through the awards of the amazing work done with and for people in our local communities and in the pursuit of equality, diversity and inclusion for all. I don’t say it lightly, it was inspiring and I’m determined to get more library recognition in for next year. As it was, our Young Employee of the Year award went to a Saturday Assistant based in Camberley Library – much to his complete surprise.

I was even home at a not too late time – so I was quite buzzed for work this morning and spent quite some time making sure my peers and staff knew about the awards and how we need to get nominations started for next year. Pleasant to have something nice to plan really.

Good Start

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So, I forgot yesterday that it was a Bank Holiday and that seems to be setting the tone for the week. Very little got done yesterday, but that’s fine.

This morning I woke up in excruciating pain and recognised it as a kidney stone. I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised after the heat and direct sunlight of the weekend and drinking at a barbecue round the ex-Mrs M house along with the Charleesi.

So so much for getting anything done today. I’ve mostly been semi conscious under the influence of some very strong painkillers and a hot water bottle. Oh, and many pints of water to help flush it through.

I think the worst is past now, but I’m completely wiped out. I have at least been entertained by the flow of pictures from Pride on social media. There’s lots I remember, but so much more than I saw while we ran the stall. It was a fantastic day.