As is traditional, a few days after exercise, muscles are complaining bitterly. Sadly that exercise was my being violently ill so the painful muscles are the ones connected to my ribs and diaphragm and it hurts when I laugh.
Those who know me, will appreciate how much this is an irritation. I like laughing.
And yes, that’s in no small part due to being very familiar with depression, which is always lurking in the background.
So, hopefully I’ll feel less tender in the morning and I can enjoy my day off.
Another day done, reasonably productively, so that’s good. I’d been concerned for a colleague who seemed to have slipped through the cracks in the vaccination program but was pleased to hear that they’d been successful in securing an appointment.
Perhaps unsurprisingly I seem to have gained a reputation, at least with my manager, for being able to help distressed colleagues. I’m more frequently being asked to check in on various people so I’m having to remember to maintain my boundaries and not carry things home.
Still, I’m doodling and plotting things for the next few games, so that’s a positive thing. Shenanigans are afoot.
Every now and then I’m called upon to be the fount of all knowledge, or at least the nodding insurance advert dog that people come to for permission to do what they’ve already decided to do – or for sounding board duties while they justify the decision their subconscious has already made.
Today has been that day. Thankfully I was only due to work a short shift as the hours were swapped with yesterday so that we could head off an issue with cover.
During the scant few hours, somehow every single conversation was about the same small pool of topics and individuals. I was therefore very relieved to get away for a coffee date after work with another colleague. An hour of gossip and putting the world to rights was just the right antidote to it all.
In other news, I’ve been confirmed as a Mental Health First Aider, and training booked in for early next month. Just in time for the big restructure. Just, generally, in time.
It’s been a very long day. Nothing horrible, and mostly very productive, just long. I was supervising some new staff so that took a more active management and training regime than usual, and then I had counselling this evening as well. That’s taken a lot out of me.
Nothing like a discussion of whether my supporting people is a way of pushing away help to get you double guessing yourself in knots.
It isn’t, for the record, but that’s the type of day its been. Tomorrow brings the next episode of the DDC, so hopefully see you there at 7.30pm London time. I might even have written a plot by then…
Been a lot brighter as the weekend has gone on, and thats been more than a little due to the anticipation of and running of tonight’s game, which just finished.
It was a battle-heavy game as the group tracked down the people and entities responsible for the recent carnage and kidnapping of their companion. I was concerned at one point that I might not have judged things well from a balance point of view, but a combination of luck (both good and bad), tactics, and planning saw it all work out, including Caeluma being the one to strike the fatal blow against the Bone Knight responsible for everything.
I’m all energised in a tired way from that, so with tomorrow being my last day on holiday I’ll spend some time working out the next chapter, and then preparing for a new week of strangeness.
Lady M is back to work tomorrow. I suspect there may be some swearing…
I’ve been rough today, but it’s only been a blip at its worst point. There was nothing in particular that sparked it; I think the stresses of the last few weeks and being a carer while Lady M recuperates just hit saturation point.
As a result instead of things sliding like water off a duck’s back, I sank for a while. Cuddles and reassurance from Lady M helped hugely. Then she put the xbox controller in my hand and told me to shoot things in Destiny for a few hours – and that helped too. I’m a simple soul sometimes.
Other people on social media and via messaging also helped lift my spirits, as did some TV shows, and some graphics stuff that has ended up in both the RedBubble store and on Amazon as well. Links are in the menu above for each.
I’m still feeling a bit grey and subdued, but it’s not as heavy, grey, and brain fogged so, yay?
I’ve managed to get the general mess and piles of things to be recycled vs thrown out down to more manageable levels today: specifically near enough that its now needing me to set a pace to continue it rather than say “that’ll do”
Whenever I weaken I look at how much better the corner I started with is, and do some more. My reward has been to then let myself do some more drawing, or to do some prep for Sunday.
I bought the first piece of new furniture for our flat since we finalised buying it: a standard lamp with shelving. It arrived today and I spent a quick twenty minutes or so assembling it – and then clearing a space for it to live.
This meant steeling myself to start digging into the huge piles of cds and dvds that had taken over a corner of the living room. Many of them were items I’d bought when I wasn’t well, and I compulsively bought a great many things at the time.
There are items we’re keeping, certain classics for example, and comedian sets, but there are many more that neither of us have looked at in ten, or in some cases, twenty years – so in the bin they’ve gone.
I could have sold them on in non-lockdown circumstances, but I needed them gone – and it’s been oddly cathartic to get rid of impromptu reminders of painful times. There’s still more to go through, so that’ll keep me busy spring-cleaning tomorrow.
I’m not quite sure where today went, but I’m not going to punish myself for having a quiet day with everything that’s been going on.
I’ve played some Destiny, drawn and coloured another couple of maps, done some grocery shopping, and taken out the recycling- along with some other minor odds and ends. So it’s not as if I’ve been in a daze on the sofa.
Lady M continues to recover from her operation, and now sports an amazing display of spreading bruises. That said, the biggest struggle is getting her to sit still and let herself recover. Well, aside from when she cosies up on the sofa and suddenly there are gentle snores.
It’s not dramatic or draining in any traditional sense, but I am aware that I’m always keeping half an eye out to keep her fed, watered, and comfortable, so I shouldn’t be surprised that I’m feeling a bit flat. This won’t last long. Normality will return.
This is an option for training that has just cropped up at work, and it dovetails so neatly in to how I and my colleagues work with our staff that I just had to rattle a few cages to make it happen.
And the argument was won, so in March at some point we’ll get accredited training to be able to act as a vital element of support for our staff among the stresses that just keep coming.
Hopefully that’ll be after I return to work from looking after Lady M as she recovers from surgery. I am fully expecting to be spending a lot of time over the next few weeks telling her to step away from the laptop. She’s the first to admit she’s a lousy patient, but she’ll still need to be loving taken back to the sofa and an xbox controller put back in her hands while I make another mug of black tea.