It has started well, with yesterday being a fairly productive day off, but this morning I was due to be working a late shift. The universe, however, had other ideas so I’m manning the barricades elsewhere on different hours.
Tomorrow, I’m due to be having a managers’ team day – and have had a last minute request for Christmas jumpers and or hats so we can film something. One colleague has already reached out to see if I have any spare hats or jumpers.
We tried something a bit different this week as we gamed on Sunday, and livestreamed the session – or at least the audio of it along with the virtual table top – it was very rough and ready, but we all enjoyed it immensely and even had some people pop their heads round the virtual door to cheer us on. Some of them even suggested they’d enjoy coming back next time, so we can’t have been awful.
I suppose this means I’ll have to get quicker on getting material prepped and ready, and I’ve agreed to do a quick video intro that will be spliced into a YouTube video for the channel that we’re setting up as well. I’ll announce that properly when there’s something to actually see there. Personally I can’t stand the sound of my own voice, but no one has said anything about it so I have to assume it’s not dreadful to anyone who hasn’t heard my internal monologue. That… doesn’t at all sound odd, does it?
If it takes off, we’ll do more social media noise in real-time, but for now its a neat little experiment.
I’m focusing on being positive this week, what with the anniversary and my brain’s attempts to continue to sabotage me. For the most part this has manifested in new writing, new items going up in the shop (180 odd designs and rising as of time of writing), and going through old backups to find the graphics that time forgot.
Oh, there are so, so, many. I forgot how prolific I was when I was ill back in the early to mid 2000s. Some of the archives have aged very badly, others look amazing, and others are currently inspiring new works as a revisit.
Its interesting to see how I’ve progressed in some areas, and what looks familiar even now. More than anything else it has got me wanting to spend more time pushing to rediscover digital art techniques.
I made an old woman cry yesterday. I was serving her and as I removed my mask behind the screen she did a doubletake. Then she said I was the absolute double of her son, down to the beard, eyes, and voice – and tears welled up. She left quickly after, as I told her I hoped it meant it could be something she could look forward to next time – which was the best I could manage at short notice.
I don’t know the context, I assume either death or estrangement figured in the story somewhere. I don’t think anything can really prepare you for moments like that.
And so we carry on. In this case to Halloween, which feels thematically consistent at least.
And I have assistants dressed as witches, a bone suit and face mask at the ready, and loads of families wandering in and out despite torrential rain. There are far worse ways to spend a Saturday than dressed up and having a bit of a light hearted approach to the job. It would have been the last of MCM comiccon this week so at least I’m dressed up for something.
I’m on my own, setting up for the day at the library, and there’s a certain calm to the quiet that eases my mind and nerves. Maybe its the sense of being master of my domain, or the reassurance of being alone with books and the promise of what may come today.
Either way, even with a building site next door, the quiet of a library first thing in the morning takes some beating as a way to set you up for the day.
All the computers are on, cash in the tills, daily timetable drawn up, and a clear set of shelving awaiting today’s returns. Time for a cuppa before I open the doors I think.
I’m on holiday next week, partly for Lady Mrs birthday, and partly because its that time of year again when PTSD likes to rattle the bars. It isn’t as dreadful yet as it has been in recent years, and I’m putting that down to keeping busy with as many positive things as I can.
So just this week to go, and if I can get all the paperwork concerning the new hires set up properly before I disappear I’ll treat that as a win.
Its been a good day today, albeit one with a lot of driving. myr s invited me down for breakfast, and this coincided with Lady B having arranged to pick up a vanity table from a friend, so we thought we’d make a day out of it, kidnap Lady J too, and bustle over to Eastleigh for the morning.
My sat available decided that with all the local roadworks on the motorways that it would try and ratrun us cross country, so we had an enjoyable bought of trying to work out where it was trying to take us and then willfully ignoring it based on my passengers’ local knowledge.
If nothing else it made for cheery conversations as people recalled past jobs, workplaces, or relatives in places we passed. We duly picked up the vanity table, tetris’d it into the car with only one seat needing displacement, and went on search of food before myr s could turn into the hangry hulk.
The last time I was there was for Pride a couple of years ago, so bits of the street layout started to come back to me, enhanced by Lady Best memories of working at a now defunct club that seems to now be an empty space. We allowed the mental stretch of imagining reworking it as a split use site with an LGBTQ+ coffee/bookshop space during the day and club/bar space for the evening. Maybe when the best sellers and/or lottery wins roll in…
Oh, and we hit Poundland, partly for sugary drinks, and partly to raid the Halloween supplies. We’re all cosplayers, it’s what we do…
I also got told that the cub had explicitly demanded I not leave until we’d picked him up from school, so we did that and treated him to McDonald’s for his supper before I headed home. The grins and hugs were well worth it.
And so home, with a bag of goodies for Lady M from myr s, for a curry, mindless nonsense on the TV, and more tinkering with scenario details for the next game.
I had a brief chat today with a friend about how we’re each coping with everything going on, and how it is reported. We both agreed that we were each actively working on not letting ourselves get angry on a regular basis.
I went on to say that I was doing lots of focusing on being firm but kind with people that came in to the library, and helping where I can to at least make my small corner of the world less beastly.
What’s the alternative? Hopelessly screaming, shouting, and ranting is therapeutic to be sure, but helping keep everything stable for others helps me in the long run by requiring less sets of spoons to maintain after a while.
It just feels a lot of effort to be getting there. Being kind is full time work.
As ever, I’ve been drawing away fairly constantly during downtime. Some of it has even looked like things, while other times its been a bit abstract as I experiment. Sometimes the experiments work too…
I’m not sure why, but today seems to have taken forever to pass by. Its not for lack of things to do, as its been a productive day all round, but the passage of time does seem to have stretched a little.
I’ve just realised I haven’t been doing any form of Inktober this year either. That’s purely down to losing track of time rather than any active decision. Its also not any indication that I’ve stopped drawing. You should all know me better than that.
Of course I’m now starting to think of all the things I haven’t got round to or had time to do now. Not helpful when I’m trying to wind down at the end of the day. Oh well, shall attempt to add some of those things in my list of things to do tomorrow.