Your Character Said What?

One of the joys of roleplay games is that players just say the oddest things – and sometimes they’re even funnier when presented without context. The following have been said in games I’ve GM’d over the years and are not in any particular order:

  • “Ah-hah! But you cannot claim to be a swashbuckler if you do NOT kick them off the stairs when you slay them, my friend!”
  • “Uh — Nice sabretooth kitty…”
  • “Here Lilly-Lilly-Lilly!”
  • “So, You think incomprehensible babbling and crying is your ally!”
  • “Heh – so I’ve got off death row and now you guys want to kit me up with automatic weapons and send me and me mates to go blow a couple of gangs away? Yeah – okay, works for me!”
  • “You’re carrying how much black powder?”
  • “Um – how big a bribe do you think the church will want to perform a resurrection?”
  • “I think its safe to say that sniffing orcs is bad for your elf.”
  • “Watch the barmaid – I don’t trust humans with bigger muscles than me”
  • “Battle plan?”
  • “Congratulations! You’ve just been promoted to be the Party Scout.”
  • “I’m a freelance locksmith, pleased to meet you Guv.”
  • “I’m the son of the Amber Prince of mischief and you’re planning to cut that guy’s throat with a knife he gave me? What’s the betting that’s actually made of rubber?”
  • “Orcs in black plate mail? I don’t see what’s so scary about that..!”
  • “This is all your fault – if you’d followed my plan we wouldn’t have been captured…”
  • “I don’t care if he’s black, white, yellow, purple, orange, green or transparent! He’s gonna pay for trashing my jacket! Someone gimme a grenade!”
  • “A big skeleton with four arms you say? I’ll jump down on it – how hard can it be?”
  • “I don’t care how beat up we are – I want my sword back, and we’re not leaving until I’ve found it.”
  • “Hey didn’t someone say a necromancer used to live here?”
  • “Can’t handle the strain? *click* Well I guess I could haul you up…nah! I’m keeping after that assassin – catch up if you can…”
  • “I’ll send my sabre tooth tiger out to play with the sheep with strict instructions not to permanently damage anything”
  • “Just how full of holes do I have to shoot this bio-construct before it falls down?”
  • “OK – I’ll agree to betray the village. Have they paid up as promised? Good – I’ll tuck the money away and splat their leader before using him to beat the others”
  • “NO! I want to burn something! We can’t just leave all that oil to go to waste!”
  • “What’s the worst that could happen?”

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