It’s very easy to forget that the cub is both eight years old, and quite young with it. He adopts language and mannerisms from YouTubers as a bolshy disguise, and can come across quite abrasively at times – but the real cub is closer to the surface than we remember sometimes.
One such reminder came last weekend while he and Lady S were staying with us. Reports came in of a man being murdered in a train not far from us, and the cub was distraught at the thought of it.
He’s generally quite wary of public transport anyway as a high-stimulus mode of transport to unfamiliar territory, and he knew that I would be travelling back from work by bus. He was, I’m told, very concerned that I would be okay – and the Ladies M and S spent a lot of time reassuring him.
Then he remembered that I’m due to visit Portsmouth shortly, and will be travelling by train. As Lady S tried to get him to settle to sleep, he remembered that we use the Glympse app to let each other know how our journeys and estimated arrival times are going.
So I have a specific request as I travel down, to use the app so that he and Lady S can see that I’m still moving and travelling. He has also been repeatedly reassured that I am careful as I travel and how and where I travel and so far he seems to be only slightly twitchy.
He’s too young to be reassured by statistics in the safety of travelling by trian, or by comparisons of the danger of crossing the road on the way to school. I’m certainly not opening the can of worms that some people may even see me as a danger while they travel: lone white male with shaven head and leather jacket? I do get looks.
So yes cub, I will be safe, and I will be there soon.
Or rather, the same cold I had before the New Year, which doesn’t seem to have ever quite gone away, but has instead decided this week to flare back up.
On the plus side it has meant I’ve done a lot of reading and drawing while drowning my symptoms in lemsip and whisky.
On the downside it has meant that my energy has been quite low, even while we marked the first anniversary of our polycule (admittedly by mostly lying on the sofa and groaning at each other about whose turn it was to make a cuppa).
Hopefully the cold is back on the wane – just as well as I’m heading down to Portsmouth for a weekend with Lady S. Maybe the sea air will blow some cobwebs away.
We dropped in to see Lord B, my brother, and his family today to exchange Christmas gifts and catch up for the first time in ages. Given the general perception of antipathy from various relatives of late it was therefore very touching to see gifts addressed to all three of us, but also an active expectation that Lady S would be with us for the visit.
Sadly that wasn’t the case as she had family business of her own to attend to, but we did take photos to send to her.
Such an acceptance means a huge amount, and was genuinely moving. Thanks guys.
Compared to the high octane shenanigans of last year – where the Maidments descended on Disney in Florida for Christmas and New Year, and realised they weren’t ready for the experience – we’ve been having a quiet Festive week.
My parents stopped in on the Sunday before, so we had a meal and catch-up. Christmas Eve saw Lady M working so I did battle with the crowds to get some last-minute food and drink in. Christmas Day was quiet, and then The Charleesi and her mother came round on Boxing Day.
Lady M retired with sub-migraine-related sickness that evening, so I drove down for a surprise visit to Lady S with a hefty proportion of the various Christmas presents for her household and stayed over before returning to see how the invalid was doing.
Trust me, Lady M does not ‘do’ being ill with grace. She’s the only woman I know who gets ‘man-flu’. She was fine for having some uninterrupted sleep and a work from home day.
Friday we were both back to work – so nothing exciting to report there – and then this weekend brings a catch up with one of my brothers and his family; followed by a gathering of the whole polycule on Sunday for a roast dinner and gift-exchange.
So, both busy and sedate at one and the same time – which is just as well given the various colds and illnesses doing the rounds. There are worse weeks to have had – and I am… content.
So, I wrote a few weeks ago about giving HIV the finger and taking a home test – in part so that as a triad we could be secure in stopping using barrier contraception amongst ourselves. I also said I’d update people when I had a result.
Well, a funny thing about discrete services like this – it was so discrete it took me several weeks to notice the text notification of my results – even though they came through within two days of posting off the samples.
The reason for that was that the results were texted from the same number that the order confirmation came from, so I think my brain assumed it was a junk text. It was only while I was looking through my messages, trying to find an appropriate number to chase up the results, that I noticed the simple text:
ID : xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Thanks for using CNWLs Home Self-Test service. Your results are all clear. No further action required.
We’ve all tested clear, in case anyone is keeping score.
So that was a positive, if slightly bemusing, coda to that experience. Yay us!
I’ve been blogging in another place about my relationship with Lady S recently, and suddenly realised I’ve not put anything down here for a week or so – so it’s time for another quick round-up.
It is of course that time of year when families get together – and that has of course meant that Lady M and I are in one place, while Lady S is in another while our respective families swirl and bumble around. My parents have begun their grand tour among my siblings, so we took advantage of their staying nearby to drop in at their hotel and have a meal together – as well as pass on presents to be delivered to other people and of course the gifts meant for them. During that meal we broached the subject of introducing them to Lady S when we go to visit them up north in a couple of months time – and were met by surprised “Ooooh!”s and nods, which was far better than expected.
Lady S is, in turn, herding cats in her own family home – but at least her father already knows us so when we go over on Sunday for a Christmas meal there’s no similar bemusements on that front.
Would we all rather be together tomorrow? Yes – but there’s plenty of time for that to happen. We’re a year together – give or take a few days – so we’re getting adept at working rapidly round new twists and turns. For now, given the distance between us, we’re keeping as patient as we can be and appreciating the time together as keenly as possible.
All of which means that while we’re separated, we’re still dropping messages and keeping each other in mind. My own relationship with Lady S feels as if it is deepening, especially in the aftermath of a recent falling out and reconciliation that just underlined how much we meant to each other.
Every day with my partners brings new joys and insights, little moments of glee and bewilderment in equal measure – and if I’ve learned one thing this year it has been to trust in my partners’ compersion – their joy in seeing their partners happy in circumstances that people in other relationship models and circumstance may find extremely challenging. I’ve learned to trust that they accept me in all my weirdness, just as I accept them in all their complexities. What better time than Christmas to celebrate that love as we reach out to our families and share that joy with everyone?
Posted in Christmas, family, household, LGBTQ+, poly, relationships
Tagged christmas, family, household, LGBTQ+, poly, polyam, Polyamory, relationships
I’m still drawing all the time – it’s what I do to focus and distract with equal fervour and I now have staff who use the sight of my many doodles as sketches to recognise that I’m based at a given location at any time. (People who have worked elsewhere with me over many decades will know that one)
I’m doing a lot of them at the moment, which on the creative side is wonderful, as I’m pushing some new techniques and composition styles that I think are really broadening my confidence.
And yet the perfectionist in me still sees every flaw and I throw most of them away. Furthermore that then darkens my mood – which isn’t great on days like today where I’m drawing as a distraction because my head is not in a fantastic place.
Oh well. Two steps forward, one step back and all that. I am at least filling my sketchbooks with good material and studies for bigger projects down the line – and it’ll soon be Christmas and a chance to get the whole polycule back in one place again