It’s been a strange journey of ups and downs in health and oddities, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. Its been three years since myr s accepted a collar from me, and cemented a place in our collective lives.
Despite the best efforts of covid-19, lockdown, and the general vagaries of life we’ve kept a strong if sometimes frustrated bond – the joys of living in separate cities and all that.
The collar is a mark of trust and partnership, not unlike a wedding band, but a little less subtle in its symbolism. Since the first chain mail one, I’ve since bought a more masculine one for them as their gender identity has evolved. There have so been some more casual ones for comfort or blending in.
I was vaccinated yesterday, another sign that we seem collectively to be moving towards all being able to see each other again. I love myr s deeply, and cannot wait.
So, about this time nine years ago I think we were dancing, or possibly sharing left over cupcakes with friends while combat Morris Dancing was taking place, or maybe we were going back for thirds of the spit-roasted whole hog and encouraging the bar staff at the castle to take shots with us.
Whichever it was, it was fun and messy and nobody really cared too much except to keep a weather eye on the few kids in attendance. I suppose as a metaphor for our lives since then it’s not too far a stretch either.
Of course as we’re still in lockdown we’ve been a bit more limited this year as to how outrageous we can be, but a quiet day of hot beverages, TV shows, takeaway, and playing games is not a bad way to go.
We’ve exchanged gifts, we’ve curled up on the sofa, and watched the generally soggy day outside through the window. And the best bit? Neither of us is working in the morning and we can do it again if we like.
Nine years. Wow. It’s as if we like each other or something..!
I’m working in a quieter library this week, so while there are fewer people around it does still make for a reasonably steady rate of use, even with people starting to twitch about potential illness. I’ve had two people this week mention they’re stocking up on books to read if they have to isolate themselves, and our numbers for events are down. So far though the very British shrug is being deployed.
That said, I am looking forward to having the weekend off, especially as I’m going to go see myr s for a couple of days. Getting away and letting the sea air clear the lungs a bit is definitely in order – and it’s also the second anniversary of my collaring them so there are some small presents to exchange which is always fun.
At least I’m generally aware of what my body’s usual range of complaints is so I’m not panicking when my fluctuating sugar levels give me sweats, or my sinuses complain when I shift stock and boxes around, disturbing dust in the process. Here’s to as calm a weekend as possible.
Oh, yeah, by the way, today’s been the eighth wedding anniversary of myself and Lady M – eight years since we all gathered at Rowton Castle and had a massive party that also happened to have a wedding attached to it.
In typically disjointed fashion I’ve been back at work trying to remember passwords and catch up on all the many weird and wonderful things to have happened during my week away, while Lady M stayed home, ran things to the tip, and spent half the day chatting with the ex-Lady M about how proud we all are of the Charleesi.
By contrast, myr s has been struggling to find a way to style their new haircut in a way compatible with a favourite character in the Final Fantasy series – so I’ve been vaguely trying to remember what I used to spike my hair many moons ago when I had some.
The eighth anniversary is known as a Bronze anniversary, so as we always try to incorporate something of the relevant material in our gifts, I gave among other things a bronze knotwork pendant and a bronze keyring with the date on it – and Lady M gave me a miniature bronze armillary replica, and a set of bronze gaming dice from The Grinning Gargoyle
And then being soppy romantic buggers we sat on the sofa and caught up on some episodes of Altered Carbon before pottering around a bit more while I tinkered with laptops and desktop patching because we both have work again in the morning and celebratory silliness will have to be reserved until the weekend – where we’ll be catching up with Lord and Lady P for the first time in ages.
This weekend was a celebration in my family of my parents’ Golden Wedding Anniversary – fifty years together and still teasing each other every day. The venue was a hotel near Box Hill in Surrey that we’ve used for various celebrations over the years.
The twist was that Lady S was also invited along, marking her introduction to my wider family in a somewhat wider scope than I’d ever anticipated.
I’d pushed for an invitation when they were first planning the event, partly to make the point that both Ladies M and S are important parts of my family and I wasn’t willing to sacrifice them. Given how my relatives are spread out around the place it made for an easier way to demonstrate that despite our unconventional relationship, no one involved in it had three heads.
I’m pleased to say that we had a wonderful evening celebrating my parents and catching up with each other. My family is generally one that gets more talkative and garrulous as the drink flows,and it’s safe to say that Lady S got a good look at where my storytelling comes from. We didn’t get to talk with everyone, but Lady S was happily welcomed right from the start, and our collective nerves rapidly settled.
Lovely food, good company, and a very late night as we opted to drive there and back rather than stay over – partly because of our nerves before hand in case things didn’t go well. And now… relax…
Life’s been a bit busy this last month or so – so busy I’ve not blogged here at all. Instead I’ve been posting pictures on Instagram for that immediate slice of life set of updates that is no substitute for chewing the fat.
February was busy with work, birthday, and of course the polya shenanigans of valentine’s bday. March has more significances to me with not one, but two significant anniversaries.
The first was my seventh wedding anniversary with Lady M. It’s marked on our list as the copper anniversary, so we bought little gifts around that theme. Work got in the way of doing anything particularly expansive, but we did have the week off between my birthday and the anniversary to go up and spend time with my parents.
The second anniversary is actually today, and promoted my return to this space. It’s the first anniversary of my collaring Lady S. In this year, we’ve both grown and evolved, and I look at today with the same mix of “a year already?” and “it’s only been a year?” that I do when contemplating my time with Lady M. It’s marked with joy and love, and a degree of irritation that we’re both working and won’t see each other for a few weeks.
But still, anniversaries, and to two women who make my heart glad, blood pump, and brain pop with equal parts joy, lust, love, silliness, and contentment. My wife and my kink-wife for lack of a better description – and life is good.
Or rather, the same cold I had before the New Year, which doesn’t seem to have ever quite gone away, but has instead decided this week to flare back up.
On the plus side it has meant I’ve done a lot of reading and drawing while drowning my symptoms in lemsip and whisky.
On the downside it has meant that my energy has been quite low, even while we marked the first anniversary of our polycule (admittedly by mostly lying on the sofa and groaning at each other about whose turn it was to make a cuppa).
Hopefully the cold is back on the wane – just as well as I’m heading down to Portsmouth for a weekend with Lady S. Maybe the sea air will blow some cobwebs away.
I’m a contrary soul at heart. This will come as no surprise to pretty much anyone who knows me. I can be grumpy in the middle of celebrations, joyous in the middle of total chaos, and instinctively push back whenever someone tells me what I should be doing.
And yet, somehow I’ve managed to keep a marriage going with Lady M for six years – and have known her for the best part of ten years. I’m not sure if that requires celebration for us both, or a round of commiserations for her with everything that she has to put up with.
Our adventures together have ranged from rollercoaster highs and lows to contented fluffiness, and everything in between. The brutal honesty and mindfulness we do our best to practice can sometimes seem shocking to people on the outside, but it clears the air, tackles potential issues, and lets the storms pass so we can get on with life.
And yet, even so, I am surprised when I wake up and find Lady M curled up with me, often with innocent looking eyes and a demand for a cup of tea.
I’m coming to the conclusion that train journeys are a great way to get around – as long as you’re travelling off-peak and don’t particularly care what time you get there.
Those who commute regularly will have already rolled their eyes. All I can say is: I know the pain, it’s why I don’t commute if I can possibly help it. For travelling to see friends, loved ones, and partners however it’s proving to be a good option this week.
Yes, I am only using the train because my car is out of action. Hush, I’m making the most of it, and it’s working out relatively cost-neutral once you factor in parking on top of petrol.
Today’s my second trip to Brighton this week. Monday was a lunch date with Mre B and a dry run to test the route and timings for today’s journey down with Lady M. We’ll be staying overnight at the Malmaison as a treat for our anniversary (five years already!?) so we can have a proper explore and catch Mre B after work too.
It should come as no surprise to anyone that I’m fully intending to drag Lady M to the amazing library at some point. I mention this to provide a smirk for those who know us, and to cement the notion that our bookish geekery really does know no bounds.
So. Busy couple of days of letting the train take the strain, as they say. Saturday also looks set to be busy. Didn’t someone say holidays were meant for relaxing?