Life’s been a bit busy this last month or so – so busy I’ve not blogged here at all. Instead I’ve been posting pictures on Instagram for that immediate slice of life set of updates that is no substitute for chewing the fat.
February was busy with work, birthday, and of course the polya shenanigans of valentine’s bday. March has more significances to me with not one, but two significant anniversaries.
The first was my seventh wedding anniversary with Lady M. It’s marked on our list as the copper anniversary, so we bought little gifts around that theme. Work got in the way of doing anything particularly expansive, but we did have the week off between my birthday and the anniversary to go up and spend time with my parents.
The second anniversary is actually today, and promoted my return to this space. It’s the first anniversary of my collaring Lady S. In this year, we’ve both grown and evolved, and I look at today with the same mix of “a year already?” and “it’s only been a year?” that I do when contemplating my time with Lady M. It’s marked with joy and love, and a degree of irritation that we’re both working and won’t see each other for a few weeks.
But still, anniversaries, and to two women who make my heart glad, blood pump, and brain pop with equal parts joy, lust, love, silliness, and contentment. My wife and my kink-wife for lack of a better description – and life is good.
Or rather, the same cold I had before the New Year, which doesn’t seem to have ever quite gone away, but has instead decided this week to flare back up.
On the plus side it has meant I’ve done a lot of reading and drawing while drowning my symptoms in lemsip and whisky.
On the downside it has meant that my energy has been quite low, even while we marked the first anniversary of our polycule (admittedly by mostly lying on the sofa and groaning at each other about whose turn it was to make a cuppa).
Hopefully the cold is back on the wane – just as well as I’m heading down to Portsmouth for a weekend with Lady S. Maybe the sea air will blow some cobwebs away.
I’m a contrary soul at heart. This will come as no surprise to pretty much anyone who knows me. I can be grumpy in the middle of celebrations, joyous in the middle of total chaos, and instinctively push back whenever someone tells me what I should be doing.
And yet, somehow I’ve managed to keep a marriage going with Lady M for six years – and have known her for the best part of ten years. I’m not sure if that requires celebration for us both, or a round of commiserations for her with everything that she has to put up with.
Our adventures together have ranged from rollercoaster highs and lows to contented fluffiness, and everything in between. The brutal honesty and mindfulness we do our best to practice can sometimes seem shocking to people on the outside, but it clears the air, tackles potential issues, and lets the storms pass so we can get on with life.
And yet, even so, I am surprised when I wake up and find Lady M curled up with me, often with innocent looking eyes and a demand for a cup of tea.
I’m coming to the conclusion that train journeys are a great way to get around – as long as you’re travelling off-peak and don’t particularly care what time you get there.
Those who commute regularly will have already rolled their eyes. All I can say is: I know the pain, it’s why I don’t commute if I can possibly help it. For travelling to see friends, loved ones, and partners however it’s proving to be a good option this week.
Yes, I am only using the train because my car is out of action. Hush, I’m making the most of it, and it’s working out relatively cost-neutral once you factor in parking on top of petrol.
Today’s my second trip to Brighton this week. Monday was a lunch date with Mre B and a dry run to test the route and timings for today’s journey down with Lady M. We’ll be staying overnight at the Malmaison as a treat for our anniversary (five years already!?) so we can have a proper explore and catch Mre B after work too.
It should come as no surprise to anyone that I’m fully intending to drag Lady M to the amazing library at some point. I mention this to provide a smirk for those who know us, and to cement the notion that our bookish geekery really does know no bounds.
So. Busy couple of days of letting the train take the strain, as they say. Saturday also looks set to be busy. Didn’t someone say holidays were meant for relaxing?
You know, as opposed to an unhappy one. Three years ago, as I write this, I think I was in a Starbucks with my father, getting drinks before cramming into his car to drive to Rowton Castle for my wedding to the redoubtable Lady M-to be. The nervousness was rising, but manifesting in my appearing more distant and reserved as the project manager in me picked off the possible problems and matched them to the contingencies we’d arranged.
In the end, there’s whole swathes of the day itself that I just don’t remember because it all went by so quickly. There are just some key moments: the panic on people’s faces when the doors stayed shut at the beginning of the bridal march; being piped to our first dance to the Halo theme; making the PA system virtually explode when I made my speech, and the sheer glorious expression of joy on Lady M’s face as we exchanged vows and rings.
I regret not seeing the Combat Morris Dance-off, which sounded awesome, but that’s about the only regret I have about the last few years.
We have an amazing, joyous life together. We face everything together, but give each other the space and freedom to be ourselves. We recognise that the flaws and oddities in each other are as part of who we fell in love with as beauty, humour and simple awesomeness.
That acceptance and wholehearted openness to explore life together and support and encourage each other through ups and downs only begins to scratch the surface of how rich and beautiful this marriage is.
We’ve a quiet night planned. I have steak and chips planned for a meal, and just sometimes that’s enough. Love you Lady M.
I’ve been scratching my head this year with the realisation that Valentine’s Day and our anniversary are only a couple of weeks apart. This year is our third anniversary, which means that gifts should be either leather, if you’re going the traditional route, or glass or crystal for the more modern gifts.
I still haven’t seen anything leap forward from the shelves or catalogues yet (suggestions from the peanut gallery are welcome, as ever) so I’m hoping a wander round the shops tomorrow will see something suitable appear.
In the meantime, I’m using the excuse of Valentine’s Day to set up a mini event at the library. We’ve been taking favoured books, photocopying the stock control bar codes and then wrapping the books in plain paper. The bar codes and three word descriptions go on the wrapper, and there we have our Blind Book-Date display, ready for the next couple of weeks.
A love of books is just as valid. If you think otherwise, you’re wrong 😉
In our group we use Facebook messaging to keep in touch during the week – it’s particularly helpful for letting people know when to expect the Google Hangout invitations to go out. I know this sounds back to front, but that’s just the way of it. Certainly in our circles the main difference in the two social networks is that FB is for chatter and keeping up with acquaintances, while G+ is for keeping up with interests and hobbies.
Monday afternoon saw some unwelcome news however that our GM had been burgled at the weekend and so was temporarily unavailable while he sorted things out. My initial response was to offer to help anyone who needed to do some character generation for my upcoming campaign, and then Lady M gently tapped me on the shoulder and reminded me that Monday was the actual calendar date of our second anniversary, and that even though we’d spent most of the previous week celebrating it in combination with my birthday, she would really rather have some quiet time with me than spend her evening doing more revision and study for her professional qualifications.
While I am frequently described by her as the dumbest smart guy she knows, I’m not entirely stupid, so I prepared supper, broke out some rose wine and found Wreck-It Ralph on the Sky Movies package for us to collapse on the sofa to.
Now if only we weren’t both completely thick with headcolds still – but it was a nice quiet evening that was particularly nice after the hectic work day we’d each had.