collar

Three Years

Tim MaidmentLeave a comment

It’s been a strange journey of ups and downs in health and oddities, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. Its been three years since myr s accepted a collar from me, and cemented a place in our collective lives.

Despite the best efforts of covid-19, lockdown, and the general vagaries of life we’ve kept a strong if sometimes frustrated bond – the joys of living in separate cities and all that.

The collar is a mark of trust and partnership, not unlike a wedding band, but a little less subtle in its symbolism. Since the first chain mail one, I’ve since bought a more masculine one for them as their gender identity has evolved. There have so been some more casual ones for comfort or blending in.

I was vaccinated yesterday, another sign that we seem collectively to be moving towards all being able to see each other again. I love myr s deeply, and cannot wait.

A lovely exchange

Tim MaidmentLeave a comment

I got a bit carried away with some online retail therapy earlier following a conversation with myr s about needing to clean their chain maille collar, so could they swap to their lighter leather one for a while.

This was of course not a problem, and is a normal item of conversation in our dynamic, but it did put me in mind of getting something else as a lighter alternate collar. In part this would be a morale-booster for holding up so well under lockdown; and a lighter and looser token for hot summer days to come. A more gender-neutral appearing collar would also be a kindness with a regard to dysphoria.

And so I placed an order for a little something via Etsy, and was in short order contacted by the seller. A very sweet brief conversation then took place around some of the detailing of the piece. As a result, a slightly customised item will now be made in the next couple of days to ship by the end of the week. The maker was delighted to hear some of the whys and wherefores of the piece, and that extra element of love will no doubt be manifested in the final item.

Cat bells

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I really must remember to buy some more small cat bells. I’ve been getting complaints. Oh, not about my silent padding about and giving Lady M and coworkers nasty surprises when I start talking behind them, but about lady s.

The small bell that she has worn on her collar for quite some time snapped off recently. Her fiancée is most put out about this – she had got her ear in to listen out for the little jingle as lady s wandered around the house and now she has no warning.

I did offer one of the larger bells I have in the flat just as we headed out to the anniversary party, but this was deemed unhelpful.

I shall have to peruse online for replacements – I say plural as I’m bound to need spares…

Inktober Thirteen and Fourteen

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A slightly later posting for today as I’ve been travelling. After work yesterday I went down to Portsmouth to spend the night with Lady S while Lady M collapsed with man-flu. The drawings and sketches are continuing apace however.

I actually found these two prompts more difficult than anticipated. I’m not sure if it was time constraints in a busy week, tiredness, or just a dip in focus, but these illustrations are both very simple. That said, I drew two things for day fourteen so I’ll present them both.

Day thirteen was #guarded – and I’ve dipped into BDSM iconology and protocols here for a stylised image of someone wearing a leather ring collar.

To the general viewer this may be interpreted as a symbol of submission and surrender – and I was very careful to make the image gender-neutral. The dynamic being represented however is more complex than that.

In BDSM, someone wearing someone’s collar is in a committed relationship and is considered under their Dominant’s protection. There are many who see collaring as being as significant as engagement and marriage between the individuals concerned and in the majority of cases it is therefore respected as such, particularly in social or event environments.

In such places and times talking to, let alone touching, someone who is collared without getting permission from the Dominant can be seen as a major faux pas. The collared submissive is guarded as part of their social contract.

There are as many nuances and takes on this as there are people who take collars, so the complexity of it fascinated me enough to depict it.

Day fourteen was a very busy day and evening so I scribbled this first version shortly before going to bed. If nothing else it meant I could say that I had actually done something every day. The #clock prompt left me reluctant to simply depict a watch, or a sundial. This placeholder was the best I could come up with.

The next morning I knew what I wanted to present instead – the dandelion clocks that I loved – indeed do still love – to blow on to spread their seeds.

So on my lunch break I came up with a better representative of the prompt. It was the first time I’ve considered drawing anything like it, so it’s a slightly impressionist version I think. For something knocked up quickly, I’m quite happy both with the image and with the slant on the prompt.