Our DDC session lasted an epic six hours this afternoon and evening and has left everyone drained. Jubilant, but exhausted as they beat the bad guys. Next week will serve as an epilogue of sorts to this arc.
I’ll write up the session itself tomorrow once I’ve had a chance to sleep. My body is still in reset mode ahead of next week’s challenges so most of the weekend has been spent curled up on the sofa or in bed. I’m reminded that in part this is down to vitamin D deficiency.
To be honest, I am starting to feel a bit more comfortable. I’m still very drained, but the spinning headaches and bone aches have faded, and I don’t feel like I’ve fallen down the stairs so much – so progress.
Also, the new car is nice. Be even better when the chassis registration goes through so I can charge it..!
So we’ve finally got to the bottom of why I’m so tired all the time – and as largely expected my most recent blood test shoes that I am severely deficient in Vitamin D and will shortly start taking huge doses over the rest of the winter – with the pronise of probably needing to do so next winter as well.
I have a colleague that has had pretty much the same treatment so I’ve spent some time today talking over it, comparing notes, and setting myself an alarm for the morning to go to the pharmacy to pick up yet more things to make me rattle when I walk
This minor inconvenience is far better than any of the more horrible things that it could have been, so I’m swallowing the mutters of “I told you so” because we’ve got here through science and methodical investigation. Even if there were some speed bumps along the way.
Health continues to be what it is, though work has continued to be both challenging and rewarding in equal measure. I’ve got another week or so before my leave is due so for the most part I’m trying to get the various plates spinning for while I’m away. I’ve got a couple of appointments due while I’m off, but in the meantime, I’ve had blood tests and my covid booster – leaving my left arm both prominently bruised in the crook of the elbow and sore in the shoulder.
This jab seems just to be replicating the effects of a heavy cold today – but that could be that everything else is masking stuff. I’m choosing to interpret that as nothing getting any worse. My flu jab is due in a couple of weeks, so at least any covid effects should have faded by then.
I wish I had more energy right now – I seem to have spent most of it on the drive to Portsmouth and back today to retrieve Lady J and bring them up to stay with the boy for the week – bursts of activity seem to be fine, it’s just extended activity that knocks me out. Oh well, it could be a lot worse.
On the gaming front I’ve been largely enjoying the anarchic Festival of the Lost in Destiny – which is their Halloween analogue event. Lots of decorations, tongue in cheek spookiness, and a great excuse to rollercoast through the various playlist activities while wearing silly masks. It’s been good for dipping in and out during the evenings since it started on Tuesday.
Tomorrow we have the DDC – hopefully the tech will behave better this week.
There’s definitely something not right, but we’ll have to wait for the routines of blood tests and investigations to work out what it is. All I known is that having woken at seven this morning, I’ve napped for a couple of hours and headed to the shops, and it feels like three in the morning with added gentle dizziness.
So, my plan is to plough on steadily, and hopefully its something that a course of B12 injections will sort out because this feels like the last time my body stopped making vitamin D.
The joys of diabetes, kids.
So, if I’m a bit short with anyone for a while, I apologise. In the meantime, work and two D&D groups, not to mention my wonderful partners and extended Entourage will keep me distracted and remembering to hydrate.
Speaking of D&D, and especially Eberron, I’ve been working up some Draconic Prophecy verses as colour for my groups – and will share them for any GMs who want to reuse them.
So, I forgot yesterday that it was a Bank Holiday and that seems to be setting the tone for the week. Very little got done yesterday, but that’s fine.
This morning I woke up in excruciating pain and recognised it as a kidney stone. I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised after the heat and direct sunlight of the weekend and drinking at a barbecue round the ex-Mrs M house along with the Charleesi.
So so much for getting anything done today. I’ve mostly been semi conscious under the influence of some very strong painkillers and a hot water bottle. Oh, and many pints of water to help flush it through.
I think the worst is past now, but I’m completely wiped out. I have at least been entertained by the flow of pictures from Pride on social media. There’s lots I remember, but so much more than I saw while we ran the stall. It was a fantastic day.
I’ve not been capable of much today as I woke with a migraine, brought on by a combination of closed sinuses and general post-anxiety exhaustion (at a guess). So, that’s been fun.
At least I dont tend to get sick with it – I usually have light sensitivity, cold sweats, searing pain in the brain, stabbing pains in the eyes, and a fixation of some form of words or tune running on repeat very intrusively. This time around it was the opening piano loop to the Spice Girls/Slipknot mashup “If You Wanna Breathe My Sulfur”
You’re welcome for the link, by the way.
Fortunately it hasn’t lasted more than six hours or so and I’ve been catnapping the rest of the day and hydrating quietly. Back to work in the morning.
I had a chunk of memory fall out of the sky this afternoon and smack me in the back of the neck – which was already feeling stressed with my brain being in a weird space as it was. The chunk of memory was of being in hospital when I was first diagnosed with diabetes – or rather it was from a swathe of time early in the weekend that I just have not been able to reliably recall or reconstruct since all the excitement hit. This may be a bit graphic for medical type stuff, so if that upsets you please miss the next paragraph as it makes me squirm thinking about it. The chunk of memory seems to have been dislodged by reading an article today about a DJ who ended up in hospital with necrotising fasciitis.
I remember the fever and flu-like symptoms and my legs ballooning and turning red – I vaguely remember friends rallying round late night while waiting for an emergency appointment in the morning – I think? I don’t remember much beyond snatches of conversation, a blink of an eye and talking with a GP, then being sent straight to A&E. I do remember having at least one set of drips in – and my parents were there, and my being very concerned that something was even more wrong than the doctors knew. I remember that my legs were bound and wrapped in bandages, and yet as soon as I put my foot on the ground I was leaving wet dark yellow viscous residues on the floor in the shape of my feet – and I’m pretty sure the only reason I wasn’t shrieking was whatever painkillers were already in me. There was a sweet smell of rot – and I remember grabbing my dad as he was the nearest and saying – “All I can smell is rot, and I’m pretty sure its me.” And that’s the last I remember – at least until I opened my eyes with two surgeons standing over me and telling me they’d got my kidneys and liver working again, and did I know I had diabetes.
Sixteen years later, I still have very visibly dark scarring on my legs. I don’t know the details of what they had to do, but apparently they did it on the ward because there wasn’t any time left. We only really found out about what particular bug had decided to complicate the number of things that had all decided to go wrong at once by reading the charts and asking pointed questions. Apparently its the type of bacteria that lives for years in the body waiting for an opportunity to wreak havoc and could have been with me since my many bouts of tonsillitis as a child. No one knows, and frankly its not worth tracing back to find out.
My brain being what it is, I can feel and smell it all over again – even as a memory – as well as echoes of the pain, though that could just be the aches of being fifty years old joining in to spread the love. As I look down at my legs, it makes me ever more grateful both for the extra years I’ve had because of the swift actions of doctors, but also for the ongoing care of the NHS – even if it does sometimes feel like gentle bullying for my own good to keep me on the straight and narrow.
My brain has obviously decided that I can cope with this memory now – and perhaps its a timely reminder to not take anything for granted. I’m pretty sure my loved ones will say there’s little chance of my doing that – and that alone is something I’m grateful for.
Well it’s taken me a week and a bit of being off work but I’ve finally managed to summon the energy and organisation to get back the gym this morning. After a short night because I got lost playing a game yesterday evening it feels a bit of a double victory.
I can’t totally relax because the cub will be finishing school in an hour and a half, but I’ve time for a bite to eat and a drink.
Today has been a day of light sensitivity, eye charts, and pupils the size of saucers – that’s right, the annual retinopathy exam to check that diabetes hasn’t started eating my eyes yet.
From long experience, I know these exams knock me sideways for the day – or at least the drugs do. The exam itself doesn’t take long, being an eye test and then some photos of the back of my eye. What does take it out of me are the drugs that dilate my pupils and partially paralyse my blink reflex.
There’s a certain hallucinatory feel to how I then see everything for a good portion of the rest of the day. There’s a diffuse glow to anything pale, an inability to focus on detail, and a sense of nausea and vertigo that competes with an eyestrain headache and eyeballs that feel hollowed out before being reinserted.
So it’s perhaps no surprise that I went to bed, and slept a few hours before the cub got in from school. An early night for me I think.
I was feeling a bit at a loose end earlier today. Everyone was off doing things and I think the end of a packed week just had me at a low ebb.
There’s a stereotype that being poly means being in each other’s pockets all the time but if I’ve learned anything it’s the importance of both making sure that I am comfortable being in my own space, and embracing how important for other people to have that too. Remembering that felt difficult today, but I knew that if I got on with something it would help.
So I went to the gym, because its something I’ve not been doing as much as I’d like. And that helped. I have a routine that takes about an hour and includes a lot of cardio. With headphones on and an audio book playing that hour went quickly.
Combined with some time for a coffee and people-watching in the bar area later it definitely helped lift my spirits. Sometimes just plodding on is all that’s needed.