The cub started at his new school this week amid worries in his side, and bemusement on ours. For the most part this has been in boy s realising that the locals are a lot more accepting when it comes to lgbtq people and lives than where he has been living.
Most notably this week has been our interactions with the new school, where boy s and I were accepted as the cub’s parents and then explaining that Lady M was part of our triad – and might therefore also be an adult picking cub up or dropping him off barely rated a reaction at all.
Misgendering has been minimal, and very swiftly and appropriately corrected – and then stuck to and communicated to other staff. The local corner shop owner, no stranger to the many school children and their families, was similarly accepting.
To boy s this has been a stark contrast to what he has grown up with and faced over the years, so I’m finding it both heartaching and wonderful to see and hear his astonished reactions. It gives me hope and irritates me in equal measure that an hour and a half’s travel seems to have also leapt him forward about thirty years culturally.
About time too – this has been another hectic week, again dominated by interviews and surrounding shenanigans – but at least we got to celebrate boy s’ birthday with a grand polycule gathering this evening. We met up for a meal once Lady M had finished work, and of course battled the usual assortment of roadworks each direction – because some things in life are a fixed and constant feature.
As is tradition, boy s cried over one of his gifts, and tried to hide under his own shirt when the restaurant staff sang happy birthday – he made the mistake of mentioning it when we arrived.
On an unrelated note, I am becoming convinced that one of the posts I’m trying to fill is cursed, as the second person I’ve offered it to has now accepted another job elsewhere before they’ve even started. They were, at least, very apologetic.
For a variety of reasons, including providing stability and better job hunting potential, myr s and the cub will be moving in with myself and Lady M in a little over a week or so.
Exciting times, a little bit stressy, and that’s not even counting the window replacements this week or the challenges of work at the moment.
Well, what’s the worst that could happen?
So, myr s is currently downsizing and rationalising their possessions, looking at new school places, and sorting all the rest of the paperwork required. They also had a long-overdue conversation with their father about a number of things, and we’re so proud of them.
It’s been wonderful to just stop today and let the day happen. Admittedly that took a while to start as my day started before 7am with a text from one of my branch managers informing me they were waiting for an ambulance. That was a good start to get the adrenaline pumping.
They are, I hasten to add, okay now though won’t be working at least until next week. Then there were another flurry of calls and texts that had to happen to sort out cover and some other things, but after that I could enjoy the day. I consciously closed down all work-related tech, which helped.
And so we wandered into Staines, did shopping of both the window and real variety, and had brunch in a Costa before seeking books and some nice things before retiring back to the flat – where the cub and I played several games of chess and Chinese checkers and myr s and Lady M collapsed to recover their spoon levels.
All in all, it’s been lovely. Other highlights included the cub realising we’d set up the old xbox in the room he was sleeping in; the look on Lady M’s face when the cub called her ‘mum’, and acknowledging a burgeoning friendship with someone I’ve been chatting to on a Discord server.
Tomorrow? Well that depends on the weather, so who knows?
Its been our turn to receive little somethings from the DDC – not as part of any schedule or expectation, but simply as nice things to do. Its always nice to get things in the post, but thoughtful things from loved ones rather than Amazon orders do put a bigger smile on the face.
In this instance, across two deliveries, it was things picked out by myr s and the cub as “just because” morale boosters for both myself and Lady M. The first was a hamper of cheese and chutneys – they know our foodie nature so well – that the cub had spotted and picked out
While the second delivery contained a new Groot Funko for Lady M, and a really well stocked art roll of pencils, charcoal, and chalks for me to get lost in my artwork with.
The notes and letters that came with them are a wonderful boon and reassurance – just whats needed as lockdown continues.
I’m visiting lady s for a few days as I had more leave to book this year than Lady M. After a long week, it’s been good to switch off. Lady M and I drove down on Sunday afternoon and dropped off presents for the household, then I stayed on – much to the cub’s bemusement.
The stress levels have been slowly dropping as we’ve watched films and YouTube clips. In between, we’ve been having a tidy up before Christmassing and generally taking it easy.
Tomorrow we’ll be seeing the cub at his school Christmas play, before Lady M returns and whisks me away so we can finish packing to go visit family next week.
Amusingly, Lady M had forgotten that I was going away at one point as she was hoping I might pick her up from drinking with colleagues this week – I mention this to forestall any visions you may have of Lady M somehow languishing like Rapunzel in her tower. One of our many strengths is that each of us are equally comfortable and in need of time alone as in being with each other (as wonderful as that is)
One of the guiding principles of dating lady s has been that it is public, known to all, and that includes her son. He is very much a typical boy of his age, so has taken our comings and goings in his stride, tolerating us as only he can.
But an interesting development has come about recently, where I’m greeted with big hugs and involved in conversations. It’s nice. It doesn’t stop him occasionally being a little ratbag when it’s time to get dressed for school, but again that’s business as usual.
It could just be that he’s just buttering us up with his birthday and Christmas both in the near future, but even the anti-school protests have mellowed, so perhaps he’s just… growing up?
There really is nothing quite like your own bed to stop and relax, no matter how comfortable other beds have been. The shape I leave in my own mattress feels like a while body hug when I get back, and tensions I’ve only peripherally noticed begin to ebb away.
Perhaps that’s why, after crashing to bed for a couple of hours when we got home, I’m already feeling lighter and ready to return to work in the morning. That’s not to say I won’t be grumpy and stressed when I do, but for the first time in about a week or so my neck doesn’t hurt.
It could, admittedly also be tied to having got through yesterday, and so there’s a sense of a new start – or it could even be the prosecco that Lady M and I have shared this evening.
A little from all three columns I suspect.
I’m home, surrounded by my books, journals, fripperies, and little luxuries. I’ve spent a couple of days with my loves doing Christmas shopping, eating, and gossipping. I’ve about a month of work to pile through, and then I’m off until the new year. Right now? That feels good.
There’s a stack of shelves in our spare room that is groaning under the weight of many, many games. Card games, board games, and dice games lie alongside rulebooks for various roleplay games and are frequently pawed over before visiting people, or when we have people over.
Here then is one of the secret reasons why polycules gather: it’s the only way you can guarantee having enough people for a decent game of anything without going down the pub and dragging random people to the table. Most games need at least three or four people to play with any degree of complexity.
It’s one of the highlights of gathering loves, metamours, and kids around; now if only we could pick just one to play…
A busy weekend this week. Lady M was at the first of what seems to be a string of office parties last night, and made her own skirt and top to wear to the occasion. As she was still working on final details late Thursday night, I was driven to observe that only she could have a con-crunch for a party.
Nevertheless she had a stunning outfit ready for the event, and I spent a quiet evening wrapping a mountain of Christmas presents, drinking wine, decorating the Christnas tree, and binging episodes of Luther on Netflix.
Today I’m off to see Lady S for a couple of days, so I had time for breakfast and pain au chocolate with Lady M before leaving her to tackle her own small hillock of presents and recover from the party.
I normally travel light, but I’m delivering birthday presents for the cub and a couple of early Christmas presents, so I have a suitcase nearly as big as I am. We may have gone a little overboard this year…