A whirlwind day for many reasons today, not least because boy s finally got his hands on the keys to his new flat and we’ve spent most of the evening loading up a hired van with his possessions and a few pieces of furniture to take down the road. Even the cub got involved with carting bags down the stairs, eschewing his normal whinges about child labour while still doing his best to pretend to be too cool for all this really.
There are only three seats in a van, so I volunteered to travel in the back, standing and pretending I was riding a bus in the dark. It made for an interesting mental exercise to match the vehicle movements and road rise and fall to my recollections of the surrounding area. Braced carefully near the sliding door, it was almost restful, especially on the eyes after a long day of meetings and difficulties. I felt quite proud to be able to match what I could detect to my mental map as we got there – a sense of achievement in this self-set test.
And then we unloaded everything and left the boys to unpack and nest for their first evening in their new home – and home to a suddenly quiet and empty-feeling flat and a new set of very mixed emotions. After what had been a turbulent day for various reasons, it was enough to get the tears flowing a bit. I know they’re literally ten minutes down the road, but it is still a wrench.
And so there will be more transporting of goods and furniture tomorrow, to get things like computers and desks and a table and chair or two over there too – including the rest of our bed as we’ve donated that to him to make way for a kingsized replacement.
I’m just worn out.
There was a lot going on today, but some good things among the chaos. Most notably, boy s received confirmation of securing his new flat, and after some banking shenanigans is due to pick up his keys tomorrow. As a major distraction from the stress of it all, he’s now playing Sims4 on the XBox while we eat our bangers and mash, and muttering under his breath about all the clothes packing he’s going to need to do tomorrow. I think he’s in that slightly bewildered state where he wasn’t really expecting to get the flat, and now its all becoming a bit more real. He’ll be fine.
Just to throw an organisational spanner in the works, the cub’s birthday is due among all this upheaval – we have plans for the weekend, and I’ve just spent a spare fifteen minutes with the bedroom door firmly shut while I wrapped a selection of presents. With his birthday so close, he’s a bit sensitive about Christmas wrappings and trappings so mindful of that I had some more generic paper stashed in the cupboard. It’ll make a nice surprise for him when he gets to see them. For now there’s a small stack of presents on top of the wardrobe that he walks by and never looks up at.
Like most preteens he lives in his own little world by the gaming logic that best appeals to him. For example, his school tries to encourage him to read with a reading star scheme and everyone in the class contributing towards awards and bonuses like days not wearing uniform. He has decided that as he doesn’t read every day he can’t get the reading star, therefore won’t be contributing, so therefore why bother. Its a very selective and circular form of solipsistic reasoning that he specialises in, while sounding to his own ears very reasonable.
I try not to rise to the bait.
We’re getting ready for boy s and the cub to move out, and so today we’ve been having a bit more of a tidy and gather of their things into readily shiftable containers. It was always going to be a short-term living arrangement while he looked for somewhere to start fresh but there is an element of sadness to it. Admittedly there’s also a sense of relief that we won’t be four people crammed into a two bedroom flat and that he will have space of his own, but even so – all a bit mixed.
Still its been good to have a day where we all got round to sorting out bits and pieces – I’ve even started to grab the various Christmas-themed Funkos to make a display, because it’s that time of year. I’m saying that quietly as there’s a birthday needs to be sorted before we go into full Festive mode. I even have a multipack of DC characters that I picked up from Tesco the other day ready to take their place once I’ve cleared some shelf space.
Next week is largely going to be a mixture of another round of interviews, an appointment with a specialist to finally investigate my stomach issues – oh and assuming the references all come through in reasonable time we’ll of course be helping boy s and the cub do the whole relocation thing. It’s only going to be about ten minutes drive away, but that’s enough to give them their space. I do feel a little for the cub though – he honestly thought that because he is due to move he wouldn’t have to go to school any more. It had to be broken to him by boy s that buses exist..
The look on his face was one of shock, horror, and disbelief that the universe could be so cruel – he had no problem with us being so, but that society would continue to insist that he go to school was just too much. There may have been pouting. By him, I hasten to add. I know boy s has his moments, but this was sheer outrage on the cub’s part and I have no shame in finding that deeply funny – admittedly for all the wrong reasons.